Monday, March 18, 2013

What's In a Name? (4CE reprint Feb. 2013)



4ce Feb 2013   stolf's oldies

What's In a Name?

I was startled to read in a local newspaper's birth announcements that a boy had been born in Massena in early December and given the first name "Lucifer." I will not mention further details, out of curtesy…but certainly not out of any sense of privacy, since it was right there in the newspaper! But suffice to say, "Lucifer" is Latin, meaning "bringer of light," referring to the planet Venus, the Morning Star. Believe it or not, this name was not always associated with Satan…indeed, it is used only once in the Bible, taunting a fallen Babylonian King. 

What's more, as I understand it, only the King James Version uses this L-word…other versions say morning star, daystar, or other phrases. If you're interested, check Isaiah chapter 14. There is even a St. Lucifer, a bishop of Sardinia, and his church exists to this day in the city of Cagliari. Other Lucifers? There's an asteroid named Lucifer, discovered in 1964…and in Disney's "Cinderella," Lucifer is the Wicked Stepmother's dastardly cat.

Then there's the "Lil Abner" comic strip, where Pappy Yokum's full name is Lucifer Ornamental Yokum. Typical of Al Capp's "wicked" sense of humor, no? Mammy Yokum's real name is Pansy Hunks…and Daisy Mae's maiden name was Scragg…not to be confused with Wilma Flintstone who was a Slaghoople...or 
Morticia Addams, born a Frump.

Blondie Bumstead's maiden name was Boopadoop…sounds pretty ridiculous today, but it wasn't back in 1933 when she was a flapper, and married the son of railroad magnate J. Boiling Bumstead…ouch! On "The Honeymooners," Trixie Norton's maiden name is unknown, but her real first name is Thelma…yup, same as that of a relatively recent First Lady, Pat Nixon. If you were thinking of Lady Bird Johnson, her first name was Claudia. On "The Dick Van Dyke Show," Moshe/Maurice "Buddy" Sorrell's wife Pickles was born Fiona Conway…and like Trixie Norton, she was an ex-show girl. 

Now see if any of these names ring a bell: Jonas Grumby, Roy Hinkley, Thurston Howell the 3rd, and Eunice Wentworth. If I had given that last one's married name as Lovey Howell, and included Ginger Grant and Mary Ann Summers, you probably would have known you were on Gilligan's Island. The first 3 were the Skipper, the Professor, and the Millionaire. The show's creator Sherwood Schwartz said he always thought of Gilligan as a "Willie," but that name never made it onto the show, so it isn't "official."

Likewise, Peter Falk's Lt. Columbo never had a first name…while Jack Klugman's Quincy sort of did…in one episode, we see his business card and it reads "R. Quincy." Rudolph? Roderick? Rembrandt? Nobody knows. 

But speaking of "ringing a bell"…or "striking a familiar note"…the Ruby Begonia catch-phrase from "Rowan and Martin's Laugh-in" was originally from the radio version of "Amos and Andy." And in the park bench sketches, Ante Johnson's dirty old man is named Tyrone F. Horneigh (pronounced horn-eye) while Ruth Buzzi is Gladys Ormphby. 


One great source of controversy is whether Barbara Felton's Agent 99 character on "Get Smart" had an actual name. Now over the course of 5 seasons, she used many aliases while on assignment. In the 3rd season episode "99 Loses Control," she accepts a marriage proposal from a wealthy suitor…who turns out to be a KAOS agent, naturally…and tells him her name is Susan Hilton. I remember watching this and thinking: Aha, so that's it! Trouble is, at the end, Max calls her "Susan" and she says: "It's 99, Max. Susan isn't my real name."

What makes "Susan Hilton" different from her other false names…and why many fans still argue in favor of it…is that Max really believes that's her name, and is miffed that she told someone else but not him. Now I know what you're thinking…what about the scene in the Season 4 episode where they get married…"Do you, so-and-so, take…" Conveniently, when her name is spoken, one of the guests coughs! And in fact, creator and writer Buck Henry said there was a running battle about whether her real name should be revealed…and he won, as it never was. 


Of course, on the subject of seldom mentioned "real names," you have to take things with a smidgeon of sodium chloride…because sometimes there are inconsistencies…like Mary Tyler Moore's maiden as Laura Petrie. It was originally Meeker, which was her married name at the time. When she divorced Dick Meeker, Laura's maiden name switched to Meehan…so it's a trivia question with 2 different answers. At least we know her best friend and neighbor was born Mildred Krumbermacher.

But sometimes names are remembered and persist over time. In the same Sunday paper where I read about little Lucifer, there was a Beetle Bailey comic strip where we see his younger brother Chigger. The strip started in 1950 and I daresay Chigger has been seen or mentioned only a handful of times over the past 60-plus years. To go along with "Beetle," a chigger is a mite.

Then we have "clegg," another name for the horse-fly. And it's appropriate to mention it since this February marks the 49th anniversary of the Beatles first appearance on Ed Sullivan. But what's that have to do with Capt. Clegg, a fictional pirate in a series of books written in the early 20th century by Russell Thorndyke?

It goes back to 18th century England, where Christopher Syn is a student of divinity at Queens College, Oxford. His Spanish-born wife runs off to sea with his best friend…yikes!…and Syn takes off after them, eventually becoming a feared pirate, using the name Capt. Clegg. After a close call with the King's Navy, he decides to settle down as Vicar at Dymchurch-under-the-wall, in Kent, along the coast of the English Chanel…and in his spare time, leads a band of public-spirited smugglers as the Scarecrow of Romney Marsh.

This 3-part show was watched by many of us Baby Boomers on Walt Disney…thus we missed the Beatles, altho we sure did hear about them the next day! And if all of this Capt. Clegg business doesn't sound familiar, it's because Disney left all of it out of his version. In the original novels…plus the George Arliss 1936 movie "Dr. Syn," and the 1962 Hammer film "Night Creatures," with Christopher Lee as "Parson Blyss"...Capt. Clegg is a dark, ruthless character.

For example, when a large Cuban mulatto betrays him, Clegg has his tongue cut out and maroons him on an island…only to be recused by a British naval officer who's hot on the trail of Clegg, and who doesn't believe he's really buried at Dymchurch as a headstone there claims. Eventually, the mulatto recognizes Dr. Syn as Clegg and complications ensue…including Syn's death at the end, and his burial in Clegg's previously empty grave. A little strong for Disney, who toned it down and changed it around considerably. 

Another odd thing is that in the introductions to the 3 parts of the Scarecrow series, Walt Disney talks as if Dr. Syn were a real person. Yes, there were smugglers at that time, but they didn't play the benevolent Robin Hood role by any means…and yes, the area still holds Dr. Syn festivals, but that's because of the books and movies, not any historical figure. Welcome to Fantasyland…"Take the King's gold, share it among you!"…and rock on! 

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