Friday, May 18, 2012

Silver Screen Beatles...Not! (4CE reprint April 2012)


The Silver Screen Beatles...Not!
Did you ever wonder why, given the phenomenal success of "A Hard Day's Night" and "Help!", the Beatles never made a third live-action movie? Well, those days of doubt and confusion are over, my friend. Read on...

Of course they did film the 60-minute "Magical Mystery Tour" for television in 1967. It was aired on Dec. 26, 1967 on BBC1 in black and white, then 10 days later in color on BBC2. The music was a hit (an LP in the US, a double EP package in the UK), but the aimless shenanigans of the film were roundly panned by all and sundry. As a result, it didn't see theatrical release in the United States until 1974, and wasn't on TV here until it was syndicated in the early 1980s, making its network debut of sorts on USA's "Night Flight" program in May of 1985. 

To tell the truth, I've found it's grown better with age, a charming cultural relic of a unique moment in time. One highlight, which isn't on the LP, is the Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band's performance of "Death Cab For Cutie," a send-up of the "teen death" record fad of the early 1960s.  

In 1968 came the animated "Yellow Submarine"...altho the Beatles appeared as themselves in a scene at the end, the voices throughout the movie were done by others. In fact, half-way thru the recording, "George" was discovered to be a deserter from the British army and dutifully arrested. "Ringo" covered his part of the rest of the film. And in 1971 came the documentary "Let It Be."

But if it seemed to you a natural course for the Fabs to hit the silver screen for a third go-around, so also did it seem to Brian Epstein …not to mention the fact that they had a 3-film contract with United Artists, which eventually had to be satisfied by "Yellow Submarine." The problem was finding the right script. Three projects were seriously considered...but the chances of a third Beatles live-action feature film all but died when Brian Epstein did, on August 27, 1967.

The most publicized of these was called "A Talent For Loving." In fact in 1965, before "Help!" was even completed, it was announced the third Beatles flick would be...of all things...a western! Which made perfect sense, appealing to the Americans obviously, and also to all the would-be buckaroos in Europe, of which the Beatles themselves were four. For the script, Richard Conlon, author of "The Manchurian Candidate," adapted his light-hearted novel of 1961 about a horse race from the Rio Grande to Mexico City in 1871, the prize being a wealthy bride.

No reason for the Beatles ultimately rejecting "A Talent For Loving" has ever emerged...the basic premise was perfect for the Beatles...more of the same, with a different twist. The movie was eventually made in 1969 with a different cast, including Richard Widmark, Caesar Romero, Genevieve Page, Caroline Munro, and Israeli actor Topol. For home video it was renamed "Gun Crazy."

The second possible movie, in development in late 1966 and early 1967, was called "Shades of Personality"...to be shot in Spain and directed by heavyweight Michelangelo Antonini of "Blow-up" fame. The plot involved a man, to be played by John, whose personality split into 3 separate individuals: Paul, George, and Ringo. But by this time, studio recording was consuming all of the Beatles time and energy, and "Sgt. Pepper" took precedence.

But also in the works at this same time was "Up Against It." Brian Epstein commissioned this script from up-and-coming comedic playwright Joe Orton…it was set in a future where women ruled, men were subservient, and involved political assassination, cross-dressing and hints of "alternate lifestyles." The Beatles weren't too keen on much of the concept, and Orton's work on a re-write ended with his murder just 18 days before Brian Epstein's death. In fact, his body was discovered by Epstein's chauffeur, sent to fetch him for a meeting on the project. It was later considered as a vehicle for the Rolling Stones, costarring Ian McKellen, but that plan also came to naught. More than 20 years later, in 1989, an off-Broadway musical based on the unused script, with music by Todd Rundgren, came and went amidst some fanfare. Demos of his songs were later released in Japan on a CD, but they are no great shakes, sad to say.


Without Epstein, the Beatles were rudderless and the world saw the inevitable results. Let's face it, these cats weren't businessmen! But among the many other ideas pitched to the Beatles over the years, probably the most intriguing was Disney's animated version of "The Jungle Book." Remember the four "moptop" vultures, who spoke with cockney accents? They were indeed intended to be portrayed the Beatles, and Epstein was in negotiations with Walt when the lads got wind of it. John was especially adamant against lending their voices....their disappointment with the Saturday morning Beatles cartoon show was still fresh in their minds, and the matter was dropped. 

It's ironic, since "The Jungle Book" is most famous for its wonderful musical score…it was the first animated movie soundtrack to earn a gold record, and "Bare Necessities" was nominated for an Oscar, losing to Dr. Dolittle's "Talk to the Animals." Imagine it with a song or two by the Beatles! The strange thing is, Walt Disney died during the production, in December of 1967, within months of the deaths of Epstein and Orton. 
A remake of the Three Musketeers was another idea seriously considered, and it again would have been an interesting vehicle for the Beatles...a "period piece" infused with their own brand of mayhem. Again, it was the Beatles themselves who weren't convinced...altho interestingly, when a new "The Three Musketeers" hit the screen in 1973, it was directed by Dick Lester, who had also directed "A Hard Day's Night" and "Help."

John Lennon pushed hard for purchasing the rights to "Lord of the Rings." He saw himself in the role of Gollum, with Paul as Frodo, George as Gandalf, and Ringo as Sam. The others didn't share his enthusiasm, since John saw himself as the star, and as Paul remarked: "The strength of the other films is that we're all equal." In any event, J.R.R. Tolkien himself balked at turning the Beatles loose in Middle Earth, and that was that. 


One of the oddest near-misses was early on in 1963, when the Beatles were big in the UK but hadn't yet conquered the US or the world. Titled "The Yellow Teddy Bears," it concerned a group of schoolgirls who wore yellow badges to indicate they'd "done the deed," if you get my drift and I think you do. A bit too cheeky for the Fab 4's image? Apparently the problem was that they would have had to sing other people's songs, and their response was thanks but no thanks. The movie was made without them…pop singer Iain Gregory fronting Kinky Carson and the Embers…and the home video years later was re-titled "Gutter Girls." Lovely. 


But it's interesting to note that all four Beatles worked on individual movie projects in the late 1960s. John appeared as Musketeer Gripweed in Dick Lester's WWII satire "How I Won the War" in 1966. Ringo was with Peter Sellers in "The Magic Christian" in 1969, the title song sung by Badfinger and writen by Paul. (The title, by the way, was the name of a yacht.) 

George composed and performed a soundtrack of Indian music for the movie "Wonderwall" in 1968. Jane Birkin was in it, as a photographer's model named Penny Lane, but the meandering film wasn't even a cult favorite until its re-release in the 1990s. The best solo cinematic effort was Paul's well-received scoring of the 1966 comedy "The Family Way," the travails of a newly married couple played by Hayley Mills and Hywel Bennett. Till next time, keep watching the screen…and rock on!